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Through It All
Being in a wheelchair makes one feel reminded that he is weak and in need of someone stronger. That has always been my view of life. My name is William B. Ramos. I have suffered for 29 years from poliomyelitis, with three of my four limbs succumbing to the paralysis of uselessness. Add to this a severe curvature of the spine called scoliosis that has worsened with the years – an offshoot side effect of my lifelong disability.
But mine is not the life of sob stories. It is a continuing side of challenges and faith, of falling down and getting up and moving on, but trying not to ask, "Why?" and daring to ask God, "Why not?"
I met the Lord at sixteen, through a prominent TV and Christian icon, Ms. Helen Vela, in her then radio show on DZBB. At that time, all I ever wanted was to hear my name mentioned on air and somehow fool myself about being a star. Little did I know that the questions I was asking then revealed a soul seeking for spiritual answers already and she was sensitive enough to see through them. She asked me one time to call on her personally at the station. I was not want to miss out on the chance to talk to a celebrity because have always been a star-struck fan. But when I got to finally talked to her, I didn't know I was about to meet the superstar himself – Jesus Christ.
My maternal grandmother has instilled in me the value of religiosity and clinging to prayer likely lifeline, but nothing prepared me for the journey that I was to begin that the afternoon of July, 1989. Ms. Vela led me in a simple prayer of salvation. Since then, my life has never been the same.
At my first challenge as the new born Christian came Christmas of that year and my grandmother had a major heart attack. You see, my lawn life was my all, -- my everything. My parents left me to her care after their separation and she was the only one who fought for me in spite of the discriminating, belittling remarks of neighbors and relatives who discouraged her to put me through schools since in my condition, it was pointless. I prayed in earnest, that God would not take her just yet, because I was about to surprise her in three months time with my graduating from high school with the highest honors. He listened to my prayer. My Lola Madang lived to see the day when we marched down with the rest of the batch of 1990 graduates, first in line. Then, after preparing all the requirements for my going to college, two weeks before school started, God took her.
I used to tell my Lola that I would go with her to the grave when she dies because I cannot imagine life without her. But, it was then, when she died, that I first experienced that kind of peace "that surpasseth own understanding." Milo will of was my life, I could've fallen apart them and been overwhelmed by the prospect of college, but I was at peace. Through the grace of two scholarship grants, I finished four years of accountancy. After my college graduation, I revisited my Lola's grave with my diploma, proudly thanking her for insisting that I finish school when. And I thank the Lord that I met Him at that time that I did.
With the confidence of having accomplished something huge, I dared to dream. Big, material dreams. Corporate dreams. Goals that I had set for myself to achieve before the age of 25. I knew them more than ever what a college degree would take me to: fortune, the title,… complacency. But then the next challenge came. One that I didn't see coming: REJECTION. Many of the company's iingat lied at rejected me for my disabled body. I gave it to your two, but the peak chances started to recover "my self confidence, and on my fantasy of becoming the proud disabled kid to make it to the list of the tops of makes us for people. Despair enveloped me. A deep, dark depression drove me to a place where I doubted God's very existence. I plagued Him with questions. I bargained with Him. All I ever wanted was to work, that I even made a riveting argument with God on how I'd be a good employee and how I can bless so many people with my work ethic and my testimony if He allowed me a chance. But God seemed to be deaf.
Just to make something out of my life, I began to tutor children, in exchange at first, for a supot of kababayans for a bunch of bananas. I was crying, then, because I felt it was so beneath me. But, I had good training and good memories of school, that before long, I saw the wisdom of inculcating the value of education to them. I even began to enjoy being with kids. That was attended it dawned on me that maybe god had an entirely different plan for me than I had for myself. I began to see the privilege of honing the young minds to excellence in Christian faith, and to be the kind of 'adult' young teens can come to with their queries and confusions; who would give them straight answers but with whom they will feel safe confiding to. Even with little to no remuneration, the fulfilment was much.
I came to Caloocan Christian Church in 1997 through a faithful servant of God, Rey Ramos, who had patiently fetched me every Sunday for three years just to get me to church while shouldering all my expenses. With his allowing me to be useful, I taught at the church's summer Daily Vacation Bible School for a couple of years and harnessed my hidden passion to sing for the Lord through a series of worship service special numbers. But as I was finally gaining the confidence again to be productive, I had to move up north to Marilao Bulacan with my family. That meant saying goodbye to Caloocan Christian Church and all that I had gotten familiar with. Mobility and transportation has been my biggest hurdle and although Bulacan is just an expressway away from Manila, it may as well be Timbuktu for me. Again, the overwhelming sense of helplessness engulfed me. I had to start over again and I was keenly aware of being farther away from my long-ago corporate dream.
Now I settle here in Bulacan, starting over with a new church and reestablishing myself as a tutor. Life leaves a lot to be desired here, but I have since learned my next challenge: romancing the ordinary. I love talking to people and many are drawn to me because I own two sensitive ears. When I sit by our front porch, people of all sizes, ages and backgrounds would pass by and sit beside me, telling me their stories, asking for prayers, seeking my advice or just confiding their dreams or their angst. The trust and confidence made me see a subtle ministry: the gift of listening. I know it isn't much in this hustle-and-hurry world, but through those shared times, there were those who came and went, feeling less lonely and more validated because I cared enough to listen. I know I represent God's friendship to them thru that. If they can talk to me, much more can they do with God.
I know I can't and miss testimony here, because I perceive God's new challenges are still out there. Armed with the steadfast love of the Lord that never ceases, I lived through it all for His of glory.
-William B. Ramos
About the Author : WILLIAM RAMOS loves the power of humor to drive home a serious point.Comments? E-mail him at pogiedman@yahoo.com or pogieramos@yahoo.com. Source: www.isnare.com
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